Home
by HenchxWench
Summary: Based directly after Suicide Squad; The Joker has big plans for The Bat now that he has His Queen by his side again. Rated M for language, violence, and smut.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 **Author's Note: Hey guys! This has been rated M for language, violence, and eventual smut up and coming. I have up to chapter eight written so far so if everyone likes this I can post updates pretty quickly but, here's chapter one to give a taste of where I'm headed with this. A little explanation – This coupling has been done and redone multiple times so I took a little creative freedom to try and mix the back and forth humorous dialogue that The Animated Series couple offers, while adding in the steamy and squishy side of the couple that Suicide Squad gave us. Hopefully it comes off that way – Enjoy!**

 _Trapped. That's all she could feel was trapped. Like a rapid dog in the pound with nothing to lay on but the concrete. An alarm sounded, signaling that someone was entering the arena. She had two cells, one inside the other, making her space seem even smaller. "Hey hey Harley Babe!" His voice made her stomach clench, anger bubbled up from her esophagus to her ears but she swallowed it down and smiled sweetly at him._

" _Griggles!" she squeaked as she sprung from her seat on the floor in the corner and skipped to meet him at the bars. "Whatcha bring me? A cookie? Jell-O? Mmmm! Mac and cheese!?" Her hopes raised higher as the grumbling in her stomach switched from aggression to hunger. When was the last time they'd fed her anyway? Not that time had much meaning in this hell hole._

" _Loaf!" He replied grinning as he slipped the paper plate through the bars in her cell and dropped it unceremoniously onto the floor. She grimaced and stared at it. "Sorry babe. No sneaky snacks tonight. I'm still pretty mad at you for what you did to my guys. You know Smith is still in the hospital?" Her anger flipped like a switch._

" _Ain't it shitty enough that you took away my bed?! My hammock!? I've been sleepin' on the floor for…" she paused. Again with the time conundrum._

" _Yeah and you've been on hunger strike since. Another day or two and you could starve to death. And I can't have that; not on my watch." She scoffed at him._

" _What do you care?! One less mouth to feed right? Ain't prisons run on tax payer money and all that?"_

" _You're right, doll face. I don't care."_

 _He put his face dangerously close, his arms resting inside the bars. Her eyes darted down to his exposed limbs and the hunger in her stomach quickly switched to anger once more. The world around her seemed burred by red blotches that started to swirl. There was a ringing in her ears that she couldn't quite locate, nor did she care to try._

" _But as long as you're in my care, it's my job to keep you alive. Now eat the damned loaf!"_

 _He was starting to get red in the face. Or was that the fog rolling in that was tinting his skin? She heard a laugh; it sounded female, maniacal. Before he could realize what he'd triggered, the world around her was engulfed in red with the letters "HA HA HA_ " _written in black everywhere. She tasted blood, smelled cooking flesh, felt herself get hurled back and her head hit something hard, then everything was black._

 _She awoke again and immediately began to panic. Oh god, what had she done? How many people had she hurt this time?_

" _Easy sugar, easy," she heard Grigg's voice and her stomach flipped, the anger bubbling again. Or was it hunger? She couldn't tell anymore. She tried to move again and found herself immobilized. She tried to look down and but her head had been restrained. And what was that plastic smell? Grigg's face panned into view, that shit eating grin he'd had earlier smeared across his stupid face. She wanted to stick a screwdriver between that nasty gap in his yellowed teeth and start popping each tooth out one by one. "Dinner time, cupcake!" He said as he kneeled down closer to her face. "Like I told you. I don't give a shit if you eat, or if you starve. But as long as you're in my care, that fabulous ass of yours has to stay alive. Now: chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla?" He motioned beside him to canned meals. He picked up the strawberry one and she saw there was a bandage wrapped around his arm; that must be where the taste of blood had come from. "Oh wait! It don't matter! You won't be tasting it anyway!" He started to laugh, and she heard the chorus of other laughter around them. He'd brought an audience, really? Who exactly did he think he was?_

 _She felt her nostril widen as the pink sludge he'd poured through the feeding tube slithered its way down her nasal passage. Her head ached and she nearly gagged as she felt her stomach fill without her consent. She felt herself trying to fight, trying to scream._

"Miss?" she heard a familiar voice call to her.

"No!" she yelled, thrashing with all of her might.

"Harley!" the voice called again, shaking her. She shot awake, fist cocked to deck whoever it was that dared to place a hand on her. "Harley! It's me!" her eyes met with familiar brown emotionless ones. She froze, panting, cold sweat dripping down her. Once she realized who was in front of her, her face broke into a grin.

"Frosty!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Mr. J's right hand man and squeezing him tightly. He petted her back awkwardly as if to say 'there there…please stop,' then cleared his throat and backed away.

"Boss wants you downstairs once you're -ahem- decent." She paused then looked down.

"Eek!" she quickly covered her naked torso with the black silk comforter on the bed. THEIR bed. She was home. "Sorry Frosty! I'll be down in a jiff!"

Once he'd left she flopped back down in bed and grabbed the pillow next to her, hugging it tightly and inhaling the smell. HIS smell. Her puddin'. It was last night that they'd been reunited; he'd romantically sprung her from her cell and whisked her back to their ha-ha-hacienda; aka the upstairs penthouse of Mr. J's strip club 'Lady Luck.' She lay there for just a few seconds longer, thanking whatever higher power there was for clean silk sheets, a real room with a window, a real bed, and whatever food she was about to find downstairs. But most importantly, she needed to thank her Puddin'. Well, more so than she had last night.

She sprung out of bed, straightened the sheets, and threw on a comfy pair of pink shorts along with Mr. J's button up from last night. Then, donning her pink fuzzy slippers, she skipped downstairs as she threw her hair up into two messy buns.

"Mornin' Mistah J!" she cooed to him as she kissed his cheek and threw her arms around him. He sat at the bar of the club, which was currently empty since it was about 11:00A.M., reading the paper and sipping a steaming cup of black coffee. He tossed his paper aside onto the bar to wrap his arms around her and pull her into a full smooch.

"Harley, I've missed you so," he said as he looked up at her "The light of my mornings! Things just haven't been the same." She blushed and kissed him again as he grabbed her rear firmly and growled in his throat.

"Easy now, Mistah J. You know I need coffee in me before we start on round two," she giggled as she pulled away to sit up on the bar, spin around, and hop over. She made her way to the mini fridge to dig for an orange before pouring herself a cup of coffee with extra sugar and caramel creamer. Peeling her orange, she enjoyed the silence between them for a moment. She felt at peace as she stole a glance over to him, watching him reading his paper and sipping his coffee.

"Whatcha readin' puddin'?" she asked as she walked her quaint breakfast over to him; she needed to start small, her stomach was probably the size of a golf ball.

"Apparently there was a break in! Belle Reve had its walls blown in and a known convict is loose on the streets! Authorities have not released any names yet…" he sounded proud of himself as he gave his synopsis. Their eyes met and both started to laugh like a pair of crazed hyenas.

"Oh Mistah J! You sure know how make a headline!" she managed through her laughter. She didn't hear his laugh behind hers anymore so she stopped and met his gaze; her sea green eyes locked with his steel grey ones. He seemed serious and she gulped. It had been a long time since he'd beat her; he didn't know it but she was working with him on that (she was still a shrink after all), but the gaze was definitely familiar.

"I have to ask ya Harls. That...Griddles? Grimey? What was that asshat's name…?" Oh. Him.

"Griggs." She said his name through her teeth, as though it put the taste of dirt in her mouth, and it did: strawberry-pepto-bismol-flavored dirt.

"Yes! Griggs!" he exclaimed, standing to stalk her around the bar. She backed into the corner counter and he pressed into her, his hands on the black and gold granite on either side of her, his eyes never leaving hers. "He said you two knew each other quite well. Said that he was 'taking excellent care' of you…now just WHAT do you supposed he MEANT by THAT!?" He started screaming at her, clearly enraged at the thought of another man caring for or potentially touching her.

Normally this behavior would be met with her iron gaze, her chest puffed out, and her fists ready to swing back. But not this time, not this morning. Instead, she broke, her eyes welling with tears. Her forehead fell to his shoulder and she began sobbing into him, clinging to his maroon button up for dear life, as though he'd vanish the second she opened her eyes. She felt him relax around her; clearly the relationship was not what he'd imagined when Griggs had described it to him, and this was not the way he had intended this morning to go. His arms wrapped around her petite frame and he propped her up to sit on the counter.

"Shhhh….baby baby…"he cooed, petting her hair. And they said psychopaths couldn't love. He let her take a moment and just held her there, trying to calm her into an explanation.

"What happened, my queen?" he asked, tipping her chin up with one finger for her to meet his gaze. Her eyes had shifted to an icey blue that stood out behind her tears and reddened face. He'd never seen her like this and, dare he think this, it killed him to see her hurting so badly - he had to fix it.

"Oh Puddin'! It was just awful! They took away my bed and made me sleep on the concrete! They all ganged up on me and kicked me around; there must have been 20 or so! I tried to fight, they said five went to the hospital but I don't remember, I just remember being cold and alone and bruised and…and…" she sputtered out as much as she could before she hiccupped out a few more sobs. "They tried to feed me this…rat shit block thing? I don't know what the hell was in it but I said I didn't want it. So they tazed me and strapped me to a chair and that…that…ASS FACE…force fed me some strawberry shit through my nose. My NOSE Puddin'! I didn't even know you could eat through a nostril!"

"Oh ohhhhh, simmer down, my pet. Your Puddin' will fix everything," he cooed to her, petting her head but she could feel how tense he was now as he tried to calm her back down. Someone had laid their hands on her. HIS Harley. He handed her a paper towel, which she honked her nose into before handing it back to him. He grimaced and tossed it away before wiping his hand on his pants where she couldn't see.

"FROST!" he called out to the only henchman whose name he'd bothered to remembered, his right hand man. Frost shuffled into view, never far away despite Joker's need to scream out his name.

"Sir?"

"Clear my schedule and bring the car around….we're going for a drive." He growled as he let go of Harley.

"Stay here, have another cup of coffee and shower it off, my sweet." Joker said as he buttoned his shirt and placed his pistol in the holster under his arm. His pocket knives were slid into numerous different pockets, one even into his sock, then finally he slipped on his silver jacket. She clutched to her cup of coffee as though it would fly away and stared into nothingness as he kissed her forehead and met her eyes. "I'll call you when we're ready for you." He checked his hair one last time in the reflection of the golden walls before making his exit, Frost at his heels.

Once the door shut behind them, Harley set her cup down and gripped the counter top, her knuckles white from the pressure. A laugh bubbled in her throat and escaped her lips, echoing off the walls of the empty club, rising louder and louder and ringing in her ears as she slammed her fist on the counter in hysterics.

"HE'S SO SCREWED!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 **A/N: Thanks so much for your kind reviews so far! I love and appreciate any and all feedback!**

Harley was just applying her last coat of bright red lipstick when she heard familiar footsteps coming upstairs.

"Oh Harls!" Joker called as he wandered around the penthouse for her. She poked her head out of their bathroom, her makeup laid out in usual fashion, the tub stained from re-dying her hair.

"In here, Mr. J!" she responded. He poked his head in and grinned at her mess.

"Glad to see you treated yourself, baby." He kissed her forehead and took her in for a moment; she'd gone back to basics today. Her blonde pigtails were re-dyed, this time one red and one black. Her eyes popped with black lining, and each eye had shadow as well, again one red and one black. She wore a white tank top that she'd long ago cut into a crop top and spray painted two black eyes between her breasts with a long red smile to match underneath them. She'd paired it with black and red jeans and black combat boots. "You look stunning. Are you ready for your present?"

"A present? Aww Puddin' you didn't have to get me nothin'. Your love is a gift enough for me." They eskimo kissed and he grinned widely at her, his silver teeth catching the light of her vanity mirror.

"Anything for you, my love," he purred as he took her hand and led her downstairs. He pulled her in front of him and covered her eyes as he pushed her along downstairs. "No peaking now."

"Mistah J, I'm gonna fall! And then who is there to clean up the bloody mess? The maid? Oh wait no, that's me!"

"Oh come now, doll face. You know I'd just make Frosty do it." He cackled as he covered her eyes with one hand and wrapped the other around her waist to carry her downstairs against him. She felt a poke from his crotch in her rear and giggled; he loved when she teased him, and even more that she made him laugh and feel…human.

She felt her feet hit the floor the Joker's lips brush across her ear, earning him a shudder from his queen.

"One….two…" he breathed across her ear, his hand brushing across her six-pack, "Three!" he uncovered her eyes and she blinked a few times as his ragtag menagerie of henchmen blurred into focus.

"Awww fellas! I missed you too! Are you all throwing a welcome home party for lil' ol' me?" They nodded behind their various masks and costumes; Harley was never really sure if these were still the same henchmen as always or if they eventually died or got killed and switched out. They always had the same costumes but the person underneath? Eh. Who cares? "You shouldn't have!" She turned around to Joker and began hopping on her tiptoes. "So? Where's my gift, Mistah J? Whatcha get me?"

He grinned and pointed up to the cage on the dance floor where she spent most of her evenings and there he was, his hands duct taped behind him, locked in a cage just as he had done to her.

"Griggles!" she exclaimed giggling.

"Harley!? Harley! Oh thank God. Tell your boyfriend how good I was to you! I think there's been a mix up here I mean….I don't deserve this right?! Harley!" his voice was panicked. Clearly he'd never been a hostage before. Joker fired his pistol up at him, missing on purpose but enough to scare him. "Oh Jesus!"

"Enough with the chit chat!" Joker said, grinning and blowing the smoke from the end of his pistol. "Harley. Baby. This is YOUR hostage and YOUR revenge here. I'm just here to help you in any way you need. And the boys!" He motioned to his henchmen as though he had forgotten they were there. "The boys will help too! There's Moe and Curly and Eyeball and…" he stopped at the henchmen in the panda suit, holding an automatic assault rifle. "What was his name again?"

"Sexual Harassment Panda?" Harley chimed in.

"Sexual Harass-!...Really? Sexual Harassment Panda…from South Park?" he turned his gaze to her, amused but annoyed.

"What?! You don't remember your own henchmen's names! Why should I bother!?"

"I don't give two turtledoves what the hell you call him, Harls! Just don't make it such a mouthful!"

"Can we argue about this later!?" Grigg's called from his cage. The couple both shot at him, again missing on purpose. They turned their gaze back to each other and started laughing, then the laughter quickly turned into a passionate kiss, a loud clatter heard as both pistols dropped to the floor. God she was just so…good.

"Watch him," Joker growled around Harley's mouth, motioning vaguely to their hostage before picking Harley up by her rear and carrying towards their bedroom. She giggled and wrapped her legs around him as her puddin' carried her upstairs.

The henchmen all looked at each other and shrugged. One went to order pizza, the other grabbed a deck of cards from one of the drawers behind a blackjack table, a third started dragging a table and chairs over. Clearly this was a regular occurrence.

 **A/N: Fair warning – the next chapter I have written is a smut chapter! If this is offensive to you, I would recommend skipping Chapter 3; it has nothing to do with the plot and you won't be confused later on if you skip it all together. Thanks again guys! I'm really excited to share this story!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **A/N: Hey guys! I apologize for the last chapter being kind of short and choppy. I've made adjustments to other chapters to (hopefully) make things flow better in the future. Thank you again for the feedback! Anything helps! Now, without further ado, it's sexy time ;)**

Once upstairs, Joker released her and her feet hit the floor, their lips never once disconnecting through the journey upstairs. He grabbed her shoulders and spun her around, unzipping the back of her corset and kissing his way down her neck to her bare shoulder. Once free of her top, his hands reached up to her breasts and gave them a firm squeeze and she sighed happily and leaned back against him. He spun her back around to face him again and their lips met instantly as she began unbuttoning his shirt, then her lips trailed kisses down his neck as she pushed it off of his shoulders.

She playfully nipped as his collarbone and traced her long, black nails down his torso as he unbuttoned her jeans and began sliding them down; a disgruntled "hmpf" escaped his throat when her pants stopped at her boots and he quickly picked her up and tossed her onto the bed. A giggle escaped her lips as she reached down to unzip her boots for him and they hit the floor with a "thud." Now free of the intrusive article, he kicked his own black and white Oxfords off while she shimmied her jeans off of her ankles. A sense of urgency lingered in the air to undress each other as quickly as they could. He unzipped his pants but she stopped him when he started to slip them off.

"May I do the honors?" she said as she stood and slid them down off of his hips, lowering herself to her knees before him at an agonizingly slow pace. He growled in his throat at he watched her through darkened eyes, stepping out of his drawers. She reached up and gripped his throbbing member, never breaking eye contact with him. Cheeky minx. She knew she had him as she slowly stroked his member; he inhaled sharply and tipped his head back as her tongue swirled around the tip of his cock.

"Harls…" he growled in a warning - she was playing with fire and he loved it.

"Yes, Puddin'?" she asked as though she were innocent. Faster than she could blink, he picked her up and tossed her on the bed again, then paused to look over her naked beauty. Ohhh that perfect skin…two could play this game. He hit his knees and grabbed her ankles to pull her to the edge of the bed. A gasp escaped her lips as she felt his tongue flick across her clit, sighing in ecstasy as he swirled it around, teasing her. He picked up her hips and gripped her ass as he tasted her; the soft breaths and moans escaping her lips only encouraging him to linger longer than he'd intended. So much for a quickie.

Once she began to shudder and beads of moisture rolled down the insides of her, he stopped and positioned himself at her entrance. She met his eyes, both their gazes hazy, nearly drunk off of each other. He slid himself inside her and growled at her tightness as she rewarded him with a groan, raising her hips to meet his.

He began rolling his hips, positioning himself so he stroked her in the perfect spot. Their lips met in a fiery kiss as they moved in sync; her body reacting more and more to his movements. Soon he had her, moans escaping her lips more and more often and he picked up his pace when he felt her tighten around him. He may be the King of Gotham, but nothing compared to the power he felt when he got his Queen off. Finally, her legs shivered and she raked her nails down her back as she gave a cry of pleasure. He grinned against her neck and kissed along her flesh, giving her a short break.

Suddenly he'd vanished and she nearly cried out at the frustrating loss of his weight against her body. She picked her head up to find him lying there, his head on her pillow. His eyes challenged her and his silver teeth glinted in the light as she determinedly straddled him and lowered herself down onto his cock. His eyes rolled back as she engulfed him and started rocking her hips as hard as she could, the pillow balled in her fists on either side of his head, her head thrown back, her hair a wild mane now, the pigtails had long worked themselves out of her head. He reached up and grabbed her by the hair to bring her lips down to his as she moved.

Inching closer to his end he grabbed her hips and started moving her up and down himself, slamming himself up into her. She fell forward against his shoulder and raked her nails down his chest, beads of blood trailing where she'd been. Finally, they came together, both crying out and biting into each other's shoulders and he briefly acknowledged just how in sync they were (but then again, he had made her).

They laid there in a sweaty, panting heap of limbs, her legs still trembling on either side of his waist. His grip on her hips loosened and he ran his hands over her ass as she sat up and grinned down at him, biting her lip.

"I love you," she giggled, running her fingers over his tattoos.

"Love you too, pooh." God help her if she'd told anyone he admitted it to her. The world needed to see the psychopathic clown, not this squishy circus he was with her. She blushed some, still not used to hearing it; he'd only started responding to her recently, his previous replies were either "mhm" or "I know." Her eyes wandered to his tattoo where she'd clawed at him and her eyes widened some.

"Hey Mistah J…I'm sorry about your ink…" There were stripes clawed through his jester hat adorned skull tattoo. He looked down at it himself and grinned.

"I like it better now! Really gives that 'Harley Quinn' touch to it! Or makes me look like a tiger trainer. Tom-ayto, tom-ahto."

She toppled off of him, grinning ear-to-ear, her eyes closed as she relaxed and came down off of her high. His warmth was suddenly gone from her side and she opened her eyes to find him in green silk boxers, lighting a cigarette as he gazed out the window, looking over the city – HIS city. She rolled off the bed and landed gracefully on her feet before joining him, wrapping her arms around him from behind and kissing over his shoulder.

"Admiring the view, Clown Prince of Crime?" she whispered, one hand reaching up to steal his smoky refreshment. He turned to face her and his eyes wandered over her still nude form; the bruises on her hips shaped like his hands, the bite wound on her shoulder, she too was HIS.

"I was, but I like this one better," he purred, letting her steal a drag before taking the cigarette back from her.

Both had forgotten their hostage downstairs, too drunk off of each other's company to care.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A few hours later the two reappeared downstairs, The Joker in black silk pajama pants and bare feet, Harley wearing a black tank top and red pajama pants with black diamonds hap-hazardly stitched into the sides, her hair in two messy buns.

"Pizza, boss? Boss-ette?" an unmasked henchman asked pointing to the various boxes on the counter. "There's pineapple," he added, looking to Harley who squeaked.

"Oh my favorite! You remembered!" she squealed scurrying over to grab a slice. By penalty of death, yes. Each henchman of Joker's was required to remember certain silly details, mostly Harley's favorite take-out choices. Joker wasn't much of a 'food' kind of guy; as a matter of fact, Harley rarely saw him sleep or eat anything. He mostly consumed liquids and nicotine, and slept maybe once or twice a month. Instead, he poured himself a glass of brandy.

"Smells great!" Griggs yelled from his cage. "Sure am getting hungry up here…reeeeally need to use the john too!"

"Oh yes! I nearly forgot about our guest! How rude of me!" The Joker said grinning up at him. He raised his glass to him and took a sip of his drink, mocking him. He looked to Harley as she shoved her second slice into her mouth. "Mind if I go ahead and start, lovely? I'm hungry for a different type of cuisine." She nodded through her mouthful and tried to cover her mouth. "Drop him," he growled.

One of the henchmen scrambled up to the cage and unlocked it, causing Griggs to fall to the black tile floor with an unceremonious 'thud.' Then two of them picked him up and plopped him into a chair. J started circling him like a dog, growling in his throat, glaring down at him as he switched from charming clown to psychopathic crime boss.

"Gibbs," he said flatly.

"It's Griggs." The sound of a knife flicking open rang out. "But Gibbs is nice too!" The knife folded shut with a click.

"See normally I would have one of these lovely gentlemen beat you up for me, after all that is what I pay them for. That's kind of the nice part about being in charge and signing the paychecks…well, technically Harley does that, she has better handwriting…My point is: you've made this personal. Not only did you blatantly LIE to me when you _assured_ me that my Harley here was being treated with the upmost respect and care. But you made a very fatal error – you hurt my girl! My love, my angel, my partner, my my….soulmate. And I don't like other people touching my stuff."

The last sentence came through gritted teeth as his hand wrapped around Grigg's throat and he squeezed harder and harder. Grigg's face started to grow blue and Joker finally let him go. As he coughed, The Joker continued to speak and continued his many laps around him. "And when you make things personal, well, we definitely aren't friends anymore for one. But for two… let's just say I won't kill you. That will be Harley's pleasure." He winked at her. "But I am gonna hurt you…really…really bad."

His monologue ended and Grigg's would soon find himself wishing that The Joker would have kept talking because suddenly his ring adorned fist collided with his face, knocking him off of the chair and onto the floor. The rest would be a blur to him as the Joker's foot slammed into his stomach over and over, then his heel slammed into his temple and everything went black. The Joker half panted and half laughed as he slicked his hair back, looking over his handy work. His heart pounded and his tongue flicked across his lips a few times, his eyes mad with fury as he stared at the security guard, mentally willing him to get up just so he could start beating him all over again.

Thin, warm arms wrapped around his waist and instantly calmed him. The fury of voices and noise in his head silenced and warmth came over him like a blanket. He turned to find his Harley of course, and smiled down at her.

"Did you really mean all that nice stuff you said about me, puddin'?" She was getting teary eyed, but in a way that was completely different from his morning. The Joker didn't often get his hands dirty, not directly anyway. He didn't have an issue with killing or hurting another human, that wasn't it at all. But he'd purposely hired people to do the heavy lifting and physical brutalities for him. He usually preferred tools of some sort: crowbars, knives, guns. He didn't often physically throw blows - unless he was against the Batman. But somehow getting someone else to beat up Griggs for hurting his girl, well, it just wasn't the gentlemanly thing to do, and Joker was never anything short of a classy gentleman.

"Of course I did, my sweet," he purred, running his hand down her cheek. He looked into her eyes and saw what he'd always seen from day one, his only home and the only love he'd ever felt for or from anyone. It use to terrify him. But once he'd surrendered himself to her it had only made him stronger. _Desire becomes surrender, surrender becomes power._ He'd had her take the oath to him, but in return had learned what it truly meant.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 **Author's Note: Changing pace a bit here, and giving this that 'Suicide Squad' flashback feel to it, I'd like to go ahead and take a look back at how Harley and The Joker originally met. Please keep in mind, this story has been told and retold many times; I've taken my inspiration from Mad Love and also from the Suicide Squad comic series' retelling of Harley's origin story, as well as my own darker twist on things. I know this is off the beaten path of plot here, but this was probably one of my favorite sections to write. Enjoy!**

Trapped. That's all he could feel was trapped. He had no window in his cell, no remnants or idea that there was a world outside of these walls. He looked to the bucket in one corner, his dirty cot in the other, then continued to pace like a rabid dog locked away in the pound. An alarm sounded and he stopped to press his head up against the bulletproof glass that gave him a view of the hall outside of his cage.

The director of Arkham soon came into view, followed by a group of pale faced, scared looking kids. Ah, the new prey. Joker grinned ear-to-ear, looking each one over individually. Daddy issues, mama's boy, something to prove, virgin, they were all one in the same – a bunch of spoiled kids getting pushed through medical school and branching into psychology because the brain is just _sooooo_ fascinating. He chuckled as his own inner monologue then stopped as he locked eyes with a girl trailing behind the group. She wore a black pencil skirt and a blue button up that lit up her sea green-blue eyes.

Those eyes told a story; her posture was confident, her face stony as she looked un-phased over each and every criminal she passed. Except for him. Once their eyes met hers softened almost immediately and he saw a darkness caused by hurt behind a child-like wonder screaming to be let out and fed. And who was he to turn down a beautiful blonde? She caught herself staring and blinked but before she could look away, The Joker shot her a wink and a charming smile. Her face reddened but she dared not advert her eyes back to him. Oh, she would be easy.

Later that night, on her way out to head home, Harley stopped by his cell again. The Joker lay there in his cot, staring at the ceiling, whistling a tune and tapping his bare foot. He knew she was there but didn't acknowledge her, wanting to let her make the first move this time.

"I think the warden would be interested to know that you're able to get out of your cell," she said to him, trying to be serious but there was an amused tone in her voice that she just couldn't cover.

"If you were going to tell anyone, I'd be in isolation wearing a happy jacket by now, cupcake." He sprang up from the bed and walked to the window where she stood on the other side, holding the single rose he'd sent with the note attached: 'Come down and see me sometime. -J.' She giggled but covered her mouth; it was music to his ears. He'd never wanted someone to laugh at his jokes so badly.

"Careful Mr. Joker. Fraternizing between the staff and the inmates is strictly prohibited."

"I thought a little congratulation was in order is all. I saw you on your tour earlier, meaning you were here for your interview. I'm fairly certain there was only one position left and, here you are."

"And what if Doctor Serrano didn't pick me?"

"Then this would be a very different conversation wouldn't it?" That earned him another giggle. "Besides, I knew you would be chosen from the moment I saw you! You're special." And another blush. Without another word, she walked away. But she would be back. They always came back.

The next day was their first session; Harleen hadn't bothered to tell The Joker that she'd been randomly assigned to him, as fate would have it. He arrived in the interview room in a strait jacket and was rather roughly forced to sit down at the table across from her.

"What, no couch, no box of tissues?" he said looking around. "What the hell is this?"

"This is just a preliminary session. They want to make sure that as a new graduate I can 'handle' you, Mr. Joker." She looked to the guard. "Thank you Cash, the jacket isn't necessary."

"You must be crazier than he is!" Cash replied. She shook her head.

"He's capable of escaping anyway, you may as well save him the time." Her gaze switched back to The Joker. "If he wants to kill me then there's nothing stopping him. I've comes to terms with that." That earned her a hearty laugh from her patient.

"So you've read my file!" He grinned at her. "And you're not afraid of me?! Not turning tail, trying to pawn me off on someone else!?" Cash had taken off the jacket and he calmly sat back down, his hands folded on the table in front of her.

"No Mr. Joker. I'm not afraid of you, and I'm not afraid to die." Her voice was flat. "You may go," she said to Cash without looking at him. The door closed, leaving the two of them alone. "I'm legally obligated to let you know that our first session is being recorded and evaluated as we speak. Only this session is being monitored, any further sessions will be documented only by myself with pen and paper. Is that okay for you?" He gave her a two fingered mock salute. "Patient has non-verbally agreed to being recorded."

"So serious? I'm not sure we'll get along after all, doc." His hands went to his pockets, but their eyes never disconnected.

"To answer your previous statement, I've read your file multiple times and memorized all of your bullshit." He blinked, actually taken a back a bit. "I must stress the importance of you being honest with me. I see that your stories are never the same but the underlying theme is there. Your father was an abusive alcoholic, he killed your mother, so you killed him."

"Well Doc, if I have to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice."

"And in return for your honesty, I assure you I will not ask about your past. It's up to you whether or not you want to discuss it during our sessions. My methods are more focused on rehabilitation activities and general conversation. Is that all right with you?"

"Sure, sure," he answered half-heartedly. She was starting to bore him. 'Rehabilitation activities?' What was she going to do, ask him to color? Good Lord. His hands shuffled around in his pockets.

"Perfect. We're done here." She stood. "Oh, and if you intend to stab me with the shiv in your pocket, you'd better not miss. Because if I make it out of this room alive after you've attacked me, I will come back here, I will find you, and I will kick your nuts up through your throat and show you how we do things in Canarsie. Capisce (Cap-eesh)?" He grinned again, loving her fire. Nevermind - she was perfect.

"Crystal."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 **Author's Note: Thank you again for all the reviews and feedback! I just wanted to say that, for the record, the back story offered in this chapter is not mine, it's a recollection of "The Killing Joke" comic (which is now an animated movie!). Harley's backstory is my own though. This chapter was originally two shorter ones but I decided they would flow better together.**

Their next session was in a room that connected to her office. She sat in a large leather chair and offered him a long red couch to lay on; no tissues though. The guard brought him in with no jacket and no shackles or chains, as she'd requested.

"Turn out your pockets for me?" she asked him. He grinned at her and their eyes locked as he showed her his empty pockets. Good girl. He took a seat across from her on the sofa and they looked each other over for a while.

"We haven't been properly introduced yet. My name is Doctor Harleen Quinzel. You don't have to call me doctor if you don't want to." He smiled at her.

"I bet your friends call you Harley."

"To be honest, I don't have any friends. Academics have always come first for me and a social life just seemed, well pointless to be honest." She sighed. "People annoy me." Why did she tell him that? He grinned.

"Well Harley, you have a friend in me." He reached out his hand and she accepted his handshake.

"Now Mr. Joker-,"

"Please stop calling me that…Mr. Joker is my father." She giggled, covering her mouth again.

"What would you prefer?"

"Joker is fine. J for short."

"May I call you Mr. J? Since you've given me a nickname I feel it's fair for me to give you one as well." He smiled.

"I'd like that."

They had about ten sessions, each more fun and more laughs than the next, but each one got them closer and closer. They learned a lot about each other, and he couldn't help himself – he was honest with her.

"I've never told anyone how I actually got blessed into the life of crime." He offered during one session.

She flicked through her notes for a moment to check his facts, then met his gaze again. Clever girl.

"I was married with a child on the way. We lived in a shit apartment with only two rooms: a bedroom and kitchen, and a bathroom. We kept our bed in one corner, and our fridge was in the other. Though there wasn't much of a point in having it since it was always empty." He took a breath and continued, taking note of the fact that she wasn't writing anything down. He was a person to her, a friend, not a puzzle to solve.

"I'd gotten laid-off at my job at Ace Chemicals and was trying to make ends meet by performing stand-up at local comedy clubs. My act just wasn't getting off the ground. My wife, who's name I can't for the life of me remember anymore, kept telling me 'don't worry, we'll figure it out, we've got 6 months until the baby's here.' But then each month passed and soon she was in her third trimester. I had to do something. So I turned to the mob."

"The night of my first job, I ran home to change and our whole apartment building was up in flames. I rushed up to the steps but the fire fighters stopped me, telling me there was nothing left. Tears filled my eyes, 'But my wife!' I said to them, trying to fight passed them. They told me no one had survived the fire and they were sorry for my loss. In a daze, I somehow made it to the job and told them I no longer wanted in. My reason for living was over. But a deal was a deal; they had me dawn the famous "Red Hood" cape and mask and I led them into Ace Chemicals where I'd worked just months before."

"Now, the rest of the details are a bit fuzzy, but eventually the security alarm went off and the place was swarming with cops! I tried to make a run for it, but my path was blocked by The Batman." He nearly growled the name and Harley wrote a quick note for the first time that day.

"I lost my footing and fell into a chemical vat. Somehow I survived but, well, you've seen me. Devilishly handsome as I am, the chemicals still did a doozy on me. And that was the night I snapped and became The Joker sitting before you."

There was a silence as he finished and she paused to take it all in.

"Thank you for sharing with me, Mr. J. And for the record, I think you would have made a wonderful stand-up comic." Oh she was good. "Have you noticed anything different physically? Besides the obvious I mean."

"Certain bodily needs aren't there anymore. I don't sleep much. I don't need to eat. Certain other aspects are heightened – my pain tolerance for example."

Why did he just tell her all this? Their eyes met again and he knew – her eyes. They made him feel at home for the first time in his life. He truly felt that she understood him and didn't just pretend to try and 'fix' him.

"Why aren't you fixing me anyway? Aren't you supposed be changing me? Molding me for society?" He quickly stood and began to pace as he became antsy, aggravated with himself.

"That's not how I operate." She replied, her voice smooth in contrast to his rising hostility. So, she'd made him uncomfortable eh? "You don't need to change, Mr. J. You're a man with a sense of humor who just wants the world to laugh at his jokes. I'm not here to change you. I'm here to help you channel your aggression in a healthier manner."

He paused in his tracks, his eyes trained on the floor. He vaguely considered ending it all here; the image of his hands around her pretty little throat flashed across his eyes and he shook his head. Now she was really under his skin and he hated her for it, but something held him back.

"Why don't we switch gears here. I'll tell you about my past, any one thing you want to know. Would that help take the pressure off of you for a bit?" Damned clever bitch. He said nothing but moved to take her seat in the chair. They brushed past each other and electricity seemed to spark where they'd touched.

He couldn't help himself, he had to break the tension before he snapped. His hand purposely brushed her rear and when she snapped to turn around he gave her a devilish grin.

"Sorry Doc, that skirt just fits you so well!" Instead of the slap he expected, she laughed, covering her mouth again.

"I'm letting that slide this time, but don't let it happen again," she said half-heartedly threatening him, still covering her mouth to hide her laughter. He touched her wrist softly and pulled her hand down from her mouth.

"You shouldn't cover that pretty smile," he purred to her, leaning into her face. She leaned in for a moment, then cleared her throat and straightened her skirt to sit across from him on the sofa.

They were both under each other's skins now, and each had a love-hate relationship with the feeling; but at least The Joker knew he wasn't alone in his discomfort.

Harley took a deep breath and laid back on the couch, crossing her ankles, her heels had long been kicked off at the beginning of their session. She wore a red button up today with her black pencil skirt, her white lab coat hung over the chair where The Joker sat. They were well over time, but no one bothered to stop their sessions anymore. They all thought she was a miracle worker and she was finally getting through to him. Well, they were half right anyway.

"By the way, red is really your color," he told her, earning him a blush from her. "It really makes the green in your eyes pop."

"Thank you," she muttered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and making a point not to meet his gaze. "The floor is yours," she added, desperate to change the subject. And he planned to run with it.

He sat back in the chair, his eyes trained on her carefully, his hands folded in front of him.

"Have you ever wanted to kill anyone?"

The question shouldn't have surprised her, but it did. Her eyes locked with his again and she could see the interest in his eyes. He desperately wanted someone to think like him, to feel he was normal. Or at least that's what she took from it.

"Yes…" She paused and took a deep breath, trying to calm the heart hammering in her chest to get the words out. She'd never told anyone this story before. "My dad was an alcoholic. He beat my mom and I both up pretty bad. I couldn't even turn to my mom for comfort – I was never good enough. 'Harleen, you're the oldest set the example.' She always told me. 'Maybe he wouldn't beat us so bad if you were just better.'"

"I was always cooking, cleaning, or doing homework. If I came home with anything less than straight 'A's, she'd beat me too and call me a retard to all of my siblings for the next week. And God help whoever didn't call me one too, because Mom would beat them just as bad. I don't remember her actually helping around the house at all to be honest; she was always watching soap operas or game shows and chain smoking cigarettes."

"Anyhow, one night she'd gone to bed and I was cleaning up the kitchen before I started my homework. My dad was totally drunk and completely belligerent, nothing out of the ordinary," She was starting to shake some; she had never told anyone any of this.

"He beat me up pretty bad, worse than usual, and then he…" she paused to gather her thoughts again, "well let's just say that's the night I lost my virginity."

Now he was shaking, tense at the thought of someone else touching her, hurting her…why? Why did he care?

"I hate him. With all of my being I hate him. I wanted to kill him but…I couldn't, I was just a kid and I didn't know what to do or where to even start. So instead I packed what little I had and took off. I ate at soup kitchens and lived under a bridge for two months. I graduated two years early from high school and was offered a fully paid scholarship and well, here I am." She exhaled and looked at him, her eyes welling some. He didn't meet her gaze and her heart sank to her stomach. She'd said too much, and now he thought her weak because of all this, she was sure of it.

"I think we're done for the day," she said standing. She dared to sneak a peek at him but his face was shadowed by his hair, darkened so she couldn't read his expression.

"Could you kill him now if you had the chance?" His voice was icy but smooth.

She clenched her fists and answered him through gritted teeth, her eyes trained to the floor.

"Yes."

He stood up without another word and knocked on the door, signaling that they were done. He let himself be shackled and didn't look up at her again as he left. Her heart plummeted through her gut and hit the floor – usually he blew her a kiss or winked at her, something cute to piss the guards off (and get her heart fluttering). And now he wanted nothing to do with her.

 _Good going, Harley, you scared off the psychopath._

He escaped from Arkham that night.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 **Author's Note: All right guys, here's the last bit of flashback before we get back into the bulk of the beast. I'm rewriting chapters as I go and have up to Chapter 10 written currently, so I may take this opportunity to slow down and finish my rough draft. Anyway, enjoy!**

About a week later The Joker returned to Arkham; the reports stated that he'd surrendered willingly by walking into Gotham PD Station, unarmed, hands in the air. Their next session was scheduled for the following day; Harleen made sure her red shirt was washed.

Her heart sored to the ceiling when he came in, but she tried to remain calm. Their eyes met and he winked at her as the guard brought him in and sat him down on the couch in his shackles. Her heart pounded in her chest now; was he really going to pretend their last session didn't happen? Because she was fine with going back to the way things were before.

"I requested that my patient not wear these during our sessions," she said to the guardd. He looked at her questioningly but she just stared back, her gaze cold, almost angry. Finally, he removed The Joker's chains and left them alone.

"New guy?" The Joker asked her once the door closed.

"Mhm. Cash was promoted to a full time officer at GCPD. I'm surprised you didn't run into him during your little adventure."

"Is that what it takes to get a promotion in Gotham? Letting a known genius criminal run right passed you?" He laughed, "That explains a lot about our boys in blue!" She laughed with him, her hand raised to cover her mouth, but she caught his eye, almost scolding her wordlessly, and lowered her hand back to her lap.

There was a silence for a moment, then she finally decided to ask what she really wanted to know.

"What made you turn yourself in?" she asked him, looking at her notebook instead of him. He didn't answer her for a moment.

"I was home sick is all! The bed in my cell is oh so cozy, and I must say with winter coming I really could use another snug jacket!"

"J, it's me," she said to him softly. She touched his knee and it tingled where she her fingers brushed him through his black "Arkham" sweatpants. He almost pulled away, but then their eyes met again and he started to feel calm again; he wasn't lying after all, he had been home sick. But not for Arkham.

"I came back to get you," he told her finally. Her heart stopped for a minute and she stared at him in disbelief.

He stood from the sofa and kneeled down before her on one knee.

"What are you…?"

"Harley, I've never felt that anyone gets me the way you do. A true understanding into the mind of a clown genius. I never thought I would be capable of caring for anyone." He reached into his pocket to pull out a black ring box and presented it to her. Inside there was a man's ring finger, tattooed around the bottom with a celtic knot ring. Wait a second…

"This is…my father's finger?"

A twisted grin spread across the Clown Prince's face, which caused her stomach to flip…and she loved it.

"Run away with me tonight Harl's. Stay in your office after eight o'clock. I'll come for you."

Her heart raced, her brain shorted out, unable to answer him. _'Well Harleen? You wanted to be with him. Wanted to completely change your life. Here's your shot.'_

"I can't! I…I'm your therapist..." She said as her eyes began to well with tears. A pained look crossed his face.

"But Harley, I thought you loved me. I thought you were different than these other asshats running around this hell hole. Maybe I was wrong, maybe you're not as special as I thought…"

"I'll be there," she said sternly. His face spread into a wild grin all over again.

"Splendid! Glad to hear you make the wrong decision, my dear. There's hope for you yet!"

He stood and walked away from her, knocking on the door, cutting the session short. She quickly stuffed the ring box into her jacket pocket before he was replaced by Dr. Serrano.

"What happened? Your sessions aren't going well now?" she asked her, her tone almost frantic and accusatory.

"Something must have happened when he escaped. I'll be staying late tonight to review my notes." It was perfect.

"That a girl. Don't give up! You've come closer than anyone else." If she only knew.

That night Harley paced her office, wearing jeans and a blue button up this time, her mind racing. How did he find out who her father was? Let alone find him! And the finger? What exactly was he planning?

She was glad her office was carpeted or anyone outside the door would hear her heels clicking back and forth on the floor. Finally, there was a large explosion, and the sounds of chaos ensued downstairs. Her heart raced all over again as her eyes darted to the clock on the wall, watching the second hand tick passed the twelve. It was exactly 8:00P.M.; if there was one thing The Joker was, it was punctual.

A few moments passed that felt like an eternity; the second hand ticking sounded seemed to match her heartbeat and drowned out the screams and gunshots outside her office. Soon enough her door was busted down and three men charged in, two grabbed her arms, the third knocking everything off of her desk. She was laid down and strapped there while a fourth man rolled the electroshock kit in. What the hell was this?! She started to struggle and fight until she heard a new voice at the door.

"Don't be naughty now _doctor_!" The Joker cackled. She became still and looked up at him as the other men left the room. She heard the electroshock kit power on and begin to charge.

"What are you going to kill me, Mr. J?" she asked him, calm now – if this was how it ended, him torturing her to death well, she found an odd amount of comfort in that. Their eyes met and he saw that look again. That loving look – his home.

"Nooo nooo, I'm not going to kill you." He said circling the electrodes around her temples. "I'm just going to hurt you, really….really bad."

"Well go ahead, I can take it." He could help but smile down at her, proud of her commitment to him. As a last second decision, he took off the belt binding her feet and folded it in half. He held it in front of her and she obediently put it between her teeth to bite down on. Without warning the shock ran through her; her eyes rolled back and her body tremored but she felt a switch flip inside her mind. Any doubts or thoughts of what was socially right or wrong surged from her brain and were replaced with what SHE wanted. Then everything went black.

The Joker looked her over as she lay there; the belt in her teeth clunked to the floor as she went limp. He unbound her arms and picked her up bridal style - this was his bride now after all in his mind. He carried her himself all the way downstairs and placed her in the back seat of his purple sports car.

She awoke about an hour later and looked around, not recognizing the cream leather seats around her.

"Where…?"

"Ace Chemicals." He reached his hand out to her from the passenger side door and she took it; he had to catch her as she stood, feeling woozy, her head throbbing.

"Not as fun on the receiving end of shock therapy, is it Harls?"

She didn't respond as she took in her surroundings, noting that his outfit had changed to black dress pants, oxfords, a maroon dress shirt, and a silver jacket.

He walked her into the darkened, abandoned chemical plant and into one of the main offices where they met with few more henchmen and a vaguely familiar looking man who was tied to a chair and gagged, looking pale from the blood leaking from his haphazardly bandaged left hand.

"You….have my father?" she asked him, in awe of the lengths he'd gone. Her tone wasn't even upset, just impressed. He placed a pistol was placed in her hands and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Prove to me what you said, Harley," he whispered to her, letting his red lips brush her ear. "You want to kill him? Do it, baby. Kill him."

A second thought didn't cross her mind; which just felt like static and instincts right now. Her eyes met with her father's, though he was obviously too drunk to even recognize her.

BASTARD! Her throat was suddenly sore. Had she screamed that out loud? A shot rang through the office and her father's head went limp, bleeding from the bullet she'd placed between his eyes.

The Joker's crazed laugh rang through the room next and he circled her, clapping.

"How do you feel, Harls?" he asked, looking her right in the eye.

"…Free."

A grin crossed his face again, nearly giddy with excitement over his creation before him.

He took her hand without another word and lead her out into the main part of the plant, up the flight of metal stairs, and across the balcony to where he himself had been "baptized."

Understanding of the way his mind worked? Check. Able to kill without remorse? Check. Spunky attitude and sense of humor? Check and check. And God she was beautiful; a great starting point for any relationship.

They stood together over the vat of chemicals where he'd been born and she looked from the soupy acid below her back up to him, her eyes questioning him from behind her glasses.

"This is last thing I needed you to do for me. So we can be equals. Then we can finally be together, Harley."

She nodded, not saying a word just looking at him with those eyes. He could look into them all day.

Or maybe not…he was having second thoughts suddenly. Could he really take on a partner? That he cared for? It sounded like a hassle now. But he'd come this far…maybe he would just kill her["Would you die for me?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"No no, that's too easy…would you….would you LIVE for me?"

"Yes."

"Careful." He placed a finger over her lips. "Do NOT take this oath lightly." He placed his tattooed smiling hand over her mouth. "Desire becomes surrender and surrender becomes POWER." His finger brushed down her lip. "Now say it….say it! Pretty pretty pretty pretty-,"

"Please," she squeaked, almost begging him. What was she doing? What if this killed her?

 _And what do you have to go back to Harleen? A life in Arkham behind the glass for aiding a psychopath? Take the leap, for once in your miserable boring sham of a life._

"You are so….good," he praised her, his silver teeth sparkling in the low light as he looked her over. Not that she needed the encouragement.

Her eyes never left his as she backed up and opened her arms, falling back gracefully into the vat of chemicals. It was like she was flying until she hit the chemicals, then her whole body burned like she was on fire for a few seconds. She gasped in pain, causing her lungs to fill with the acid liquid and her head pulsed as everything was black.

The Joker watched her in the vat for a moment, staring at her lifeless form floating below him. Well, that was that. He turned to walk away and made it halfway across the balcony before he stopped; something pulled him back to her and he gritted his teeth as his gut wrenched, already missing her by his side.

Dammit J.

He stripped off his jacket and threw his pistol aside before swan diving into the vat after her; immune to the burning sensation he should have felt.

He cradled her there in the chemicals and looked over her; even as a breathless lifeless corpse she was beautiful. His lips touched hers for the first time and he swore he heard fireworks; he breathed into her mouth and felt her lungs inflate, then deflate. Then he pulled back and waited a moment.

Suddenly her eyes flew open and met his as she gasped for air, the sensation of him breathing her new life into her quickly jump started her still heart. The world was hers theirs now, nothing would stop them.

The chemicals burned her skin still but she was only vaguely aware of the pain as his lips came crashing down onto hers. She lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his hair as their melted clothing swirled around them in a purple whirlpool. He pulled away from her and broke into a hysterical laugh at the realization that Gotham now had a queen as well as a king of crime; unexplainable joy washed over him at the thought of her by his side forever.

They would be unstoppable.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 **Author's Note: Hey gang! We're heading back to the present for the rest of our ride here. One of the references I make in this chapter is from Batman: The Animated Series - Season 2, in an episode called "The Laughing Fish," just in case anyone needs a refresher course (and also to cover my buttocks). Enjoy!**

"All right Harls," The Joker said brushing his hands off and moving to take a seat at the bar, "You're up!"

"Thank you, Puddin," she blew him a kiss. "And extra thanks for knocking him out! Now I have some time to prepare." She rubbed her hands together with excitement and made her way over to the cash register behind the bar. Grabbing a pen, she unrolled some receipt paper and quickly jotted down a list, then tore the paper in two and jotted down a separate item on the second sheet of paper.

"Okay boys, who wants to be my two little errand runners?" The henchmen exchanged glances and two of the newer recruits stood. "Here's a list of things I need from the grocery store," she handed that list to the first goon, "And this is a drug you can easily find on the black market," she handed the second piece of paper to the other poor sap. "Happy hunting!"

Seemed easy enough. As the two made their exit, Harley turned to The Joker.

"Mistah J, do you remember a few years ago you made them fish with the smiles and tried to copyright them and sell them to Gotham?" The Joker laughed fondly at the old memory.

"My Joker Fish!? I'd nearly forgotten all about them! Why do you ask?"

"Are they still in the freezer down in the basement?"

"Hmm, you know I haven't checked on the old cods…but I don't imagine they've swam upstream," He tossed her his key ring and she kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Puddin! Be right back." She jingled away as she skipped towards the back of the club and he watched her rear as she left; what was his girl cooking up now?

Moments later she returned with an iced over wooden case which she unceremoniously dropped to the ground, causing the crate to break open and frozen, smiling fish to scatter over the floor. The Joker broke into a fit of laughter. As if to fuel the fire, Harley began to sing as she motioned for one of the henchmen to move the fish from the floor into the sink.

" _They're finny and funny and oh so delish; they're joyful and jolly – Joker Fish!"_ She sang as she started running hot water over the frozen fish.

"'Say Mom, wondering what to feed the kiddos tonight?'" The Joker chimed in. Harley smiled at him fondly; they'd been together for so long and had been through so many fun capers together. Granted this was not one of her favorites; normally she hated fish, but tonight these grinning groupers would be her favorite thing on the menu.

"Oh I'm not wondering. I know EXACTLY what's on the menu tonight, puddin'." She smiled mischievously as she preheated the oven.

While she waited on the oven, she decided to go upstairs and change. She returned in pigtails, a red sweetheart dress, and a "Kiss the Cook" apron paired with simple black pumps. The oven was preheated and the fish were decently defrosted so she placed them on a baking pan and stuck them in the oven, not bothering to set a timer.

The two errand boys returned about half an hour later to the smell of rancid fish cooking.

"Oh God, what _is_ that?! Did a dead hooker get dumped in the trash chute again or somethin'?"

"Hi boys!" Harley waved to them; everyone's noses were plugged with tissues. "Did ya get it, did ya get it?"

"Yes ma'am: Garlic cloves, rat poison, and out of date milk."

"And I got your uh…" the second goon looked to the small amber bottle in his hand, trying to make sense of the label. "What is this stuff anyhow?"

"It's a drug that prevents vomiting," Harley exclaimed gleefully as she took her goodies from the goons.

The Joker broke into hysterics again, slamming his fist into the counter, causing his brandy glass to bounce some off the granite.

"I feel like a parent watching Little Johnny graduate with Honors! I'm so proud!" he cackled, pulling Harley in for a kiss.

"Aww thanks, puddin." They smooched and Harley got back to work. Just as she was pulling out a blender, they heard groaning from the floor behind them. "Oh goody! He's awake!" Two of the goons hopped to and immediately pulled Griggs to his feet before pushing him back into the chair.

"Uuuugh, my head…what in the Sam hill is that smell?! Lordy did a possum crawl in here and birth a litter?!"

"How rude! I'm cooking up this special treat just for you!" Harley said, feigning insult.

"Harley, why are you doing this? Don't you remember all the good times we had? I snuck you mac and cheese, baby, I thought it was your favorite."

"Yeah. AFTER your clan of dumbasses kicked the crap out of me,"

"You put FIVE of them in the hospital!"

The Joker's mad laugh broke through the room once more.

"They had it comin' to 'em! Now shut up so I can finish making your supper!"

Harley drew up a large amount of the drug she'd ordered in a comically large needle and syringe before heading over the Griggs and jabbing him in the neck with it, earning her a cry of pain.

"The hell did you just give me, you crazy bitch?!"

"You'll see," Harley sang before tossing the syringe aside.

Finally, everything came together and Harley threw all of her ingredients into the blender and grinded it all into a fishy, milky, garlicy, rat poison-y smoothie. She poured it into a bowl and grabbed a wooden spoon before heading back over to Griggs and stuffing two plugs into his nose.

"Thank you, Jesus."

"Don't thank Him yet!"

Harley shoved the first spoonful into his mouth and he gagged and tried to spit but she just kept shoveling so he had no choice but to swallow.

"Now I don't give a rats' ass if you eat, but I gotta keep ya alive _babe_ ," She mocked him as she shoved spoonful after spoonful into his gullet. She finally gave him a break and he begrudgingly had no choice but to swallow.

"Oh God that's awful! I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"

"No ya ain't! I gave you an anti-nausea injection so ya can't!" She cackled.

She continued force feeding him his gruel until it was entirely gone; save for the mess that was all over him and what had splashed onto the floor, and as she was tossing the bowl and spoon into the garbage, he let out a long, agonizing groan.

"Ohhh my gut. What the hell'd you feed me anyway?"

"I call it Griggles a la Harley! It's got Joker Fish, milk, garlic, aaaand…oh! Rat poison! Good luck making it through the night!" She snapped her fingers and two of The Joker's goons picked him up, kicking and screaming, and chucked him down the stairs into the basement before slamming the door behind him. "Boy, this kitchen is a mess…" she looked to Joker and gave him her best puppy dog pout, complete with a long despairing sigh.

"Boys! Clean up the kitchen and get the club ready for tonight! We need time to gussy up for our guests!" The Joker walked to her and turned his back to her, signaling for her to hop up for a piggyback ride. He carried her upstairs, their mad laughter echoing off the walls and trailing up to their penthouse.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Once upstairs, Harley was greeted with a bottle of grape soda poured into two wine glasses, a bathtub filled with warm water and red rose petals, and the bathroom dimly lit with candles.

"Aww puddin! When did you have time to put all this together?"

"I had one of the boys sneak up and set it all up for us while you were having your fun. Do you like it?"

"I love it! It's so romantic!"

"Anything for you, my dear."

They helped each other undress in a way that was all soft touches and kisses, looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

Joker lower himself into the tub first, leaning back and sighing contently. Relaxation was ordinarily not his thing, but he knew how much Harley enjoyed a bubble bath after maiming or killing someone. She sank in on the opposite side of the tube from him, her hair on top of her head in a messy bun. He looked over each of her tattoos; the heart under her eye from the same night she had become his, the diamonds on her wrist from the same night he'd decided to get the many "Ha Ha Ha"s over his own arm, then his eyes stopped over the new ink on her thighs. He noted that it was upside down unless you were tattooing from her angle and laughed.

"What's so funny?" she asked looking over herself in panic.

"Your new ink, Harls. It's upside down!"

"Not from the perspective of the person who did it!" she rebutted, poking her tongue out at him.

"You tattooed yourself?"

"I was bored in that hell hole…you were never far from my thoughts though." She added the last part almost sheepishly as she moved to face the same direction as he was and lifted her leg out of the water, leaning back against his chest. His eyes wandered over her thigh reading "Puddin", "Mr. J" with a heart around it, "HQ + J", then the tally marks from each day she'd been gone; each day he'd been missing a piece of himself.

"Would you do me next?"

"You'd really let me tattoo you, Mistah J?"

"I'd be honored."

"What would you want?"

"Oh, anything really. Artist's choice. But I'd like it," he held out his left hand, "Right here," he used his thumb to touch the base of his ring finger. Harley's heart stopped.

"Wh-what?"

"I want you to tattoo a wedding band on me Harls. But more importantly, I want us to be married."

"But I thought you said I had to wait until you'd killed The Bat?"

"Well, to be entirely open with you, we're still waiting on that. For a proper ceremony at least. But for tonight, I'm having Penguin come up to the club and sign the paperwork with us. Frost will be our witness."

"Woah. Why so fast! You ain't sick or something are you?!"

"No no Harley, don't worry your pretty little head about me. It's more of a practicality; I'm going to transition to strictly planning on how to finally kill The Bat, and I need someone else to watch over the club for me. So, of course I thought of you." He wasn't telling her something, but she didn't care.

"Oh Mistah J! I'm so excited!" She tipped her head back against his shoulder and they kissed, her hand running through his hair.

An hour before the club opened, The Joker and Harley came downstairs in their usual nightly attire; her in her gold and black diamond dress, and him in a white button up, black bowtie, black slacks, oxfords, and his gun holster over his back. He also carried his long black cane, which concealed a dagger in the handle.

"Alright boys and girls!" the Joker clapped his hands and the assorted staff, dancers, bartenders, and henchmen all gathered around the bar. "I want everything low key tonight, no fights, no explosions, nada - as much as I love the excitement we need to keep it on the down low for the next few weeks while I…figure out some things. That being said, Harley's in charge of this shindig and I'm passing the torch to my most trusted right hand." Frost shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

"But boss," one of the henchmen started to say.

"And anyone who has an issue with it will answer to me." His voice grew lower, more serious, and the henchman immediately hushed. "Harley, I want you tending bar tonight."

"But puddin!" she started to protest and he put a finger to her lips.

"I don't want you bringing any attention to yourself tonight; not until the dust settles from the break out." Right, that had still only just happened 24 hours ago. "It's bartending or nothing, and that's an order."

"Yes sir," she said, but made a point to lock eyes with him and run her tongue up his finger, causing him to flash her a mischievous silver grin.

He tapped his cane on the floor twice and the meeting was adjourned; the staff all scattered to their designated areas. Harley went behind the bar and started experimenting with a few cocktails; she'd taken a few classes and tended many bars during college to make ends meet and had always loved mixing her own concoctions.

Soon enough the night was in full swing; the music was blaring, the dancers were climbing up into their stations for the night – Harley's cage was taken over by four dancers, one for each corner, just to make up for the space. She stayed low key like a good girl, but damn if she wasn't serving the best cocktails this side of town.

Soon enough Cobblebot hobbled in with his own gaggle of girls, whom he ushered off to join the fun while he headed upstairs to the man himself. Harley's heart started hammering her chest.

A few minutes later, a short whistle echoed over the music through the club and she hopped over the bar to head upstairs to the source, knowing that was J's call for her. She could feel eyes on her; that whistle hadn't been heard in the "Lady Luck" in over a month and the inhabitants of the bar knew that could only mean one thing – Harley was back. She smirked to herself and strutted upstairs with a little extra swing in her hips; good, let them watch.

"Pengy!" she squealed as she skipped over to him. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug and moved his top hat to kiss the top of his bald head before replacing his cover. "How ya been!?"

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes, lovey!?" he said to her. "She feels awful thin J. Ye say it was quite a hell hole they had her locked up in, ay?"

"God awful," Harley said, sitting next to her lover and laying her legs over his lap. Oswald did the best he could to maintain eye contact with The Joker; as uncomfortable as a task as that was to lock eyes with him, it was much safer and in his best interest to do so rather than let his eyes wander over The Clown Queen's pale, smooth, tattooed legs. He certainly had an appreciation for a woman's beauty, and Harley was no exception, but he needed this evening to go well for his own interests, too.

"Right then. I have the marriage licenses and the certificate 'ere." He rummaged through his briefcase for a moment before laying them out on the coffee table in front of the two. "Sign 'ere, and 'ere. Put your real legal names now," The Joker looked to him with a stony face, "Or as close as ye can get anyway."

Harley watched The Joker sign his first, watching him quickly scribble "Jack 'The Joker' Napier" on the dotted line marked with a red 'X,' before jotting her own name down with her new last name, "Harleen 'Harley' Quinn-Napier."

"Has a nice ring to it," Joker purred in her ear and she giggled; the two kissed, earning them a groan from Oswald as he signed off on both documents for the couple.

"All right now Frost, sign 'ere in the witness box," Oswald said to the silent henchman.

Once everything was squared away, Cobblepot packed up the paperwork.

"I'll have my assistant take this all down first thing tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I now pronounce you husband and wife; have a blast consummating your marriage this evening." Cobblepot paused and looked to Harley, expecting her to leave, then Joker's eyes moved to her as well.

"What?" she asked innocently. "I'm supposed to keep it low key tonight. How much more low key could a business meeting be?" The two men looked at each other, Joker nodded, and Cobblepot's eyes adverted to the ground. Personally he wasn't a fan of women in the business, but he dared not argue when it wasn't his house rules.

"Do we still have a deal for next week then?" Cobblepot asked.

"Oh! I nearly forgot in all the excitement!" The Joker looked to Harley. "Cobblepot is throwing his annual Iceberg Ball next week! Will you drum him up a list of-?" He looked to Oswald again.

"Twenty. Bartenders or dancers are fine."

"Twenty of our girls who would like to earn some extra cash? It's my return favor since Oswald here will be taking our garbage from the basement out with him this evening."

"Oh! Sure Pengy!" She skipped off downstairs to go talk to some of the girls. Knowing Penguin, they would be carrying plates of o'doirvos and fetching people's drinks while wearing nearly nothing, but the tips were always amazing, plus The Joker would be matching their usual hourly salary for the evening.

Once she was gone, The Penguin looked to Joker.

"All right mate, spill. You've been on death's door before and not put a ring on it. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well Ozzy, there comes a time in a man's life when he's ready to just simmer down. I'm giving The Bat one last real go at it – winner take all! His ugly mug will look splendid over the fire place; don't you think?" he motioned over to the currently unlit mantle. Cobblepot laughed.

"If you pull it off this time, J, I'll kiss ya. I swear I will!"

"I'll keep some Breath Savers ready." The two laughed again, then Cobblepot turned serious.

"But that still doesn't explain…" he tapped the briefcase holding their marital documentation.

"No. It doesn't," The Joker spat, giving The Penguin a dangerously steely look over his folded hands.

"Shall we celebrate then?" Cobblepot lit himself a cigar and handed a second to Joker to quickly smash the tension as they heard heeled shoes coming up the steps. It was safer to stop asking questions at this point. Relief washed over Oswald as the Joker's eyes adverted to his now wife as she entered the room; his eyes immediately switched back to glittering glee and he leaned himself forward some for Oswald to light his cigar for him.

"Here ya are, Pengy! Twenty girls AND ten back up bimbos just in case! Everyone's really excited about this ball!"

"Thanks, ducky," Cobblepot and Harley exchanged a kiss on the other's cheek; Oswald quickly stole a gaze down Harley's dress as they did, then stood.

"J," he outstretched his hand to shake the Joker's, then awkwardly shifted it back to his cane. The Joker didn't shake hands; especially with Oswald Cobblepot. Nothing personal, but lord knows who's dress the man's hand had just been up before they'd arrived.

"Pleasure as always, then..." He hobbled himself downstairs, only too glad to leave The Clown's lair.

Harley plopped herself down on the couch next to the Joker and snuggled into the crook of his arm to steal a drag from his cigar.

"Hey Mistah J?" Harley asked as she plopped herself back down on the couch next to him.

"Hm?" The Joker's eyes were closed but his head was tipped up to the ceiling.

"Does this mean I can call ya 'hubby' now?"

"Sure pooh, whatever you'd like."

"And you'll call me 'wifey?'"

"Don't push your luck."

"Yes sir."

 **A/N: So we're married now! What exactly does The Joker have in store? And why the sudden change of heart to make his Clown Princess into a Queen (officially)? Stick with me guys, I promise it's headed somewhere.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 **A/N: Eventually I plan to stick a bonus smut chapter in between chapters 9 and 10 but for now I just wanted to get this show on the road. I have an eventual ending for this whole thing, it's just taking me a while to get it out on virtual paper what with life going on and all that. I have a huge test I have to take coming up soon, a wedding to plan, blah blah blah, you get the picture - my plate is full. All right venting over!**

Two months had gone by and it was finally the evening of the Iceberg Ball. Mistah J had spent a lot of time locked in his office, fuming over blueprints, various shady lawyers going in and out, on the phone yelling at various imbeciles that worked for him; no one was to disturb him during this time, not even Harley or Frost. One newbie had made the mistake of going upstairs and picking the wrong door to the bathroom, earning him a bullet between the eyes.

While Harley was putting her finishing touches to her makeup for the ball, The Joker appeared in the mirror behind her, looking more dapper than usual in his full tux, a bright purple flower pinned to his jacket.

"Puddin!" Harley squeaked, throwing her arms around him. "I feel like I never see you anymore! I miss you!"

"I know, baby. But I'm all yours tonight." He stepped back to look her over and growled under his breath as his eyes panned over her from head to toe. He whistled and licked his lips. "And you're all _mine_ later," he added in a gravely tone.

She giggled and blushed as she gave him a spin around, displaying her full attire. She wore a long strapless red gown that hugged her form, complete with a slit up the side to her hip. Underneath she wore thigh high black fishnets that doubled as a spot to hide her knife, along with black stilettos that made her only two inches shorter than him. She accessorized her outfit with her usual jewelry: three watches up her arm, her gold "Property of Joker" chain necklace, and now featuring a new tattoo - a simple black "J" on her left ring finger. She wore her blonde hair down in soft wavy curls, the ends still dyed red and black.

"Beautiful," J added as he watched her apply her finishes touches of red lipstick and cotton candy perfume. He held his arm out for her to take and led her downstairs where Frost was waiting for them. "Is the car ready?" Joker asked him and he nodded. J led the way outside to a purple Hummer limo and opened the door for Harley to slide in. Inside she found grape soda in champagne flukes with a bottle on ice. She looked up when J entered the car on the opposite side and sat down next to her.

"One last thing," J said. He opened the mini fridge in the back of the limo and handed her a red and black corsage to match her dress. She giggled and let him slide it on over her left wrist; she wanted to draw attention to her left hand. Given J's current submerging into his work, they hadn't really announced their marriage to any of their fellows.

Once they were there, J came around and opened the car door for her. He took her hand and kissed it gently as he helped her out and their eyes met.

"Mistah J, if I forget to tell ya later, I had a really great time tonight," Harley said to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He grinned back at her, his silver teeth shining in the moonlight, and the two locked in a passionate kiss.

"Let's go, wifey," he purred, earning him a squeak as she tucked her hand into his arm and followed him inside. Frost drove off, knowing to come back with the Lambo for J to drive them home in.

They met a bouncer at the door and checked in from the guest list before entering inside. Penguin's club was lit with elegant blue tinted lighting and decorated with ice sculptures of various birds at each food and drink table. The usual sharks in his main aquarium had been replaced with hundreds of colorful fish. Harley's eyes lit up and she ran over to the large tank to press her face against the glass and watch the fish. Joker chuckled at her excitement and stuffed his hands in his pockets before slowly following her over.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked her, watching her face in the reflection of the glass. She turned to face him and nodded.

"I'll come with," she offered. He again offered her his arm and led her to one of the many drink tables. Every villain in Gotham was here; some of them unrecognizable all cleaned up. Don Falcone was the first to approach the pair.

"Mister Joker, Miss Quinn!" he called to them. Joker handed Harley a glass of champagne before turning to Falcone and the pair clapped each other on the back in good spirits. "Good to see you back, Harls, how ya been?" Falcone and Harley exchanged cheek kisses before Harley held out her left hand to him.

"I guess you can call me Missus Joker now?" Harley giggled as she held out her left hand and Falcone laughed.

"Well it's about time, J! Congrats to the both of ya!"

The night went on pretty much the same; the couple made their way around the room to say their hello's to everyone from Foxy to Two Face and everyone in between, as well as announcing their marriage to each person along the way.

"Harvey, have you seen Ivy lately?" Harley asked Two-Face when they eventually ran into them. J stayed quiet for the most part during these events; Harley was much better with mingling and conversing. Hell, he only attended these shindings for her.

"Back in Arkham again, poor thing. The Bat busted her breaking into the Botanical Museum."

Harley pouted and Joker placed a hand on her shoulder; he knew one of the main reasons she wanted to come tonight was to see her friend and, as jealous as he was that she enjoyed spending time with someone besides him, he still hated to see her disappointed.

"Alfred, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, sir," the British voice spoke into his helmet. Bruce Wayne sat on a rooftop gargoyle across the street, peering through his binoculars to watch the party unfold. Selena had tipped him off to a party at the Iceberg Lounge and he'd decided to check things out just in case, but so far it had been a night of just a bunch of well-dressed villains drink and chat. His detective vision flashed from one villain to the next.

"Most of them aren't even armed, Alfred. If they are, it's pretty minimal."

"Perhaps this truly is just a night on the town then? Not meant to be a great meeting of the minds?"

"Still, it's quiet. Too quiet."

"I don't suppose I can talk you into taking the night off then, can I, sir?"

"Doubtful." And exasperated sigh rattled the speaker in Bruce's ear as his vision flashed to Joker and Harley, slow dancing together and looking lovingly and one another. Both had been quiet since Quinn's escape from Belle Reve. Again, too quiet. "Alfred, I'm sending you an image of Quinn and The Joker. Have the Batcomputer analyze it thoroughly. They must be up to something – The Joker's never been quiet for this long."

"Right away, sir." The other end was silent for a while. During the hush, Bruce racked his brain, trying to decide if he should call Amanda Waller or not. On the one hand, he did kind of owe her the favor; but on the other hand did he really want to support this Task Force X she had going? He decided to just keep an eye on the situation for now. He'd been handling Harley and The Joker alone for years now, and he wasn't about to call in back up.

"Sir, the images came back unremarkable. They have new tattoos but nothing else sticks out."

"What are the tattoos?"

"Each has one on their left ring finger, sir. Miss Quinn has a "J", while The Joker has a diamond on his."

"Their left ring finger…Alfred bring up a city hall record of all marriage licenses in Gotham."

"Yes sir, searching….I've got a hit on a marriage license for a 'Jack Napier' and a 'Harleen Quinn-Napier' signed by one Mister Oswald Cobblepot."

"So he married her? Why now? What's the plan behind this?"

"Perhaps he had a change of heart after she was gone for over a month, sir?"

"No, there's an alternate motive here…Alfred, you're right. I need to come home and look into this further. The Joker's up to something, and I need to find out what. Now."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 **A/N: So I read over that last chapter again and found a** _ **bunch**_ **of typos I had missed during my proofread. Eek! Sorry about that guys. I really need to have a second set of eyes look these chapters over before I post them. My bad! Hopefully this one is much more fluid and with far less errors.**

Somewhere around midnight, The Joker had resigned himself to a table and was sipping his bourbon as he watched Harley's interaction with Jervis aka The Mad Hatter. A few people were crowding around as Harley helped him with a few simple card tricks. Nothing special, but J felt his blood boil as she gave her attention to someone else. He'd spent all night letting his little social butterfly flutter from group to group, dragging him along with her, but as he glanced at his phone to check the time, he saw he had a text message from Frost.

Harley looked over to see Joker on his phone, pacing around a cocktail table angrily as he spoke through gritted teeth and clenched his other hand open and closed.

"Gentlemen, it's been real. Thanks so much for the tricks Jervis," she said as she handed The Hatter his cards back and separated from the group.

She started to walk back to her puddin', then paused as she waited for permission to come closer. She wasn't always allowed to know the ins and outs of his business, especially lately, but once their eyes met he gave her an aggravated wave to motion her over. She put a little more fire in her step this time and he hung up the call as she approached.

"What's wrong, puddin'?" she asked him. He said nothing, just grabbed her arm sharply and lead her towards the exit. Uh-oh.

He didn't even wait for the valet to grab his car, just marched straight over to a strange black car Harley had never seen before, complete with a strange man standing leaning on it. He jingled the keys and hopped into the driver's seat as they approached but before J opened the door for her, he roughly shoved her against the car and met her eyes; his own were steely and cold in his fury.

"I've spent all night letting you drag me around this damned frozen party and for what?! For you to ditch me at a cocktail table and fraternize with a bunch of second rate has-beens?!"

"Well, excuse me for having a good time!" Harley shouted back, her back was against the car and he seemed to tower over her but she never let her eyes leave his. She wasn't afraid of the clown, not anymore; any physical brutalities he gave her now turned into two-sided brawls rather than one-sided domestic disputes.

"A good time?! I broke you out of Belle Reve, put a tattoo on your finger, called you MY WIFE! And this is how you repay me?! Giggling and card tricks with The Mad Hatter!? You want 'mad', Harls!?" He pulled out a pocket knife and grabbed her wrist, holding the blade to her left ring finger. "I can top any 'madness' he thinks he can dish out!" Her eyes softened on him, causing his grip on her wrist to loosen some.

"That's what this is about? Jervis?" she smiled at him. "Mistah J, I'm flattered you're all in a huff for me, but ya know I'm a one loon kinda woman. I'm not going anywhere, puddin'. I'm sorry I made ya upset though." His knife clattered to the floor and he pulled her into a passionate kiss.

"That's okay puu," he replied as he opened the car door for her.

The car ride was quiet as the two of them sat in the back seat until finally Harley broke the silence.

"That phone call you got had you pretty upset. Am I allowed to ask?" The Joker remained silent, but the blacked-out car came to a stop and the doors unlocked.

"Keep quiet, get out, and meet me at our car."

Harley did as she was told and made a bee line for the purple sports car waiting for them a few feet up the alley way. Once inside, Joker started the car and started to drive off before handing Harley a small button.

"Hit that for me, baby." She did as he instructed and the car behind them blew into ball of orange, bits of car flying everywhere. She gasped and her eyes lit up like a little kid watching fireworks for the first time.

"Woooooah! Who _was_ that guy?"

"No idea. Frost hired him for the night. I noticed The Bat watching outside of the Iceberg Lounge and had him send a decoy to pick us up, just in case ol' Batsy's trying to sneak home with us. Besides, nothing tops off a date night like a little mayhem!" The two cackled like crazed hyenas as J drove them home.

Once the excitement died down again, J took a breath and began to explain the phone call to Harley; he'd waited until now to be sure the previous car wasn't bugged.

"I'm supposed to be getting a shipment of chemicals in this evening to make a large amount of my laughing gas. But Frost sent me a message stating the shipment has been intercepted by some nobodies over in Bludhaven. They're holding it for ransom…granted they probably have no idea what's in those containers or who the 'Jack White' they're addressed to really is. Otherwise they wouldn't be doing something so…unhealthy. Regardless, you know how I feel about wrenches in my plans."

"Maybe we should let them know who those containers are for?" she said eyeing him mischeiviously. "Come on, puddin'! When's the last time we pulled a job together?"

"Probably when we were too broke to afford gasoline, let alone goons…although, I could use a little action after being cooped up in that damned office…" Without warning, The Joker made a U-turn and began to speed towards Bludhaven. Harley squealed with excitement as she realized which direction they were headed and dove into the backseat to change.

"You keep clothes back there?"

"Of course I do, silly! Ya think I can rough up some pussies wearing a full-length gown? I'm good, Mistah J, but not _that_ good." He laughed and adjusted the rearview mirror so he could watch her undress.

"Well, keep the fishnets on! I have plans for those later."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 **A/N: Two warnings with this chapter! Number one - it's quite long. I'm not sure if that's good or bad to be honest…xD Number two – There is smut towards the end of the chapter! You have been warned! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter so I hope you all enjoy!**

Their purple sports car skidded to a hault at the Bludhaven docks, Mr. J not bothering to give any element of secrecy to their arrival. He emerged from the car, still in his full tux, and Harley popped out in a black and red crop top, jeans, and knee high boots. Her hair was in pigtails and she'd muddied up her make up a bit to keep up appearances. She spun her trusty bat like a baton as the couple stalked towards their prey, in no hurry to get to their stolen containers.

The gang of goons were dressed in all black with matching black ski masks, the attire of a typical amateur gang of hoodlums. They froze when they heard the car screech to a hault, expecting to find The Bat or his younger counter part who ran this part of town, Nightwing. Instead what they saw was far more terrifying.

"Oh shit!" one goon exclaimed. He turned to make a run for it and the Joker immediately shot him point blank in the back of the skull with his pistol, earning him a giggle from Harley.

"Harley girl, would you mind roughing up these rough riders for me? I'd hate to ruin my new tux," The Joker purred to her. The remaining four guys scrambled to make a run for it, but Harley caught up to one of them and cartwheeled up so her legs were around his neck. Joker shot the remaining men as they tried to run, two in the head in a similar fashion, but the last in the back of the leg, deciding to let the live one get back to home base and let his boss know they'd messed with the wrong containers.

"Hiya! Come here often!?" Harley giggled as her legs clamped around the man's trachea, crushing his windpipe.

"N-no!" He managed to cough out, dropping to his knees. She dismounted off the man gracefully and twirled her bat.

"Good! KEEP IT THAT WAY!" she spat as she swung her bat and it collided with his head with a satisfying CRACK! Joker chuckled and began to spray paint his signature green "Joker Was Here" onto the ground next to the dead goony, accompanied with a few "Ha's." He was just finishing painting x's over the dead man's eyes when a bird-arang whistled past his ear.

"Uh-oh…" he heard Harley mutter as he looked up from his handy work to lock eyes with a tall, black masked figure.

"Oh goody! Bird Boy's come to the party! How ya been, kiddo!?" the Joker addressed Nightwing as if he were an old friend.

"Better than you here in a minute," Nightwing scoffed as he hopped down from the top of a shipping crate and onto the ground in front of them.

"Harley, show our friend a good time, won't you?" Joker cackled, letting her rush past him to Nightwing wielding her bat.

Nightwing caught Harley's bat in mid-air, but she merely flipped over him, letting go of her weapon and spinning around to swoop his legs out from underneath him with her own. She moved to pounce on top of him when Nightwing dealt her a swift kick to the solar plexus. She "oofed" and flew back into the crate behind them. She made a quick surveillance of her surroundings and noticed The Joker was nowhere to be found now, which made her gut ache more than Nightwing's kick. Did he really just leave her here? Not that it would surprise her anymore, but she thought they were passed that point in their relationship.

She didn't haven't long to contemplate her escape route before she heard footsteps closing in on her. Oh right, she was in a fight. She growled and popped back up from the ground, cartwheeling out of the way of Nightwing's stun stick and over to where her own bat lay on the ground. She heard the whizzing of more bird-arangs and turned quickly to strike them out of the air like an MLB slugger.

"Home run!" she squealed with excitement. She was ready to strike again when she heard machine gun fire in the distance along with the roar of a familiar engine. A large black van was rushing towards them, Frost hanging out of the passenger window as the source of gunfire. Nightwing had no choice but to run towards his motorcycle and retreat as quickly as he could, knowing he was now well out-manned and out-gunned.

"Frosty! Ya came to save us!" Harley clapped then ran up to her knight-in-the-armored-vehicle to give him a hug and plant a kiss on his cheek. Joker hopped out of the back of the van, still in his tux, and opened his arms to her.

"Load 'em up boys! Harley and I have other plans this evening." He said to his henchmen and they obediently started loading the van with canister after green canister of gas marked "TOXIC."

"Mistah J! I thought you'd left me here a goner!" Harley exclaimed, running up to him and leaping into his arms. He caught her bridal style and kissed her passionately.

"Would I leave my wife in the line of fire without a back-up plan?" Harley elected not to answer since she wasn't 100% sure the answer was 'no' and merely kissed him again instead. He walked towards their purple car and set her on the ground before opening the passenger door for her.

"Ready to go home, puu?" He asked her as he loaded himself into the driver's seat. He glanced over as he started the car and noticed Harley's pout.

"Pumpkin Pie? Why the long face?" he asked. "You know I prefer my wife to wear a smile," he added in a darker tone, growing agitated with his bride.

"Going home means you going back to your office," she whined, crossing her arms over her chest and making her cleavage poke up out of her shirt. Joker eyed her chest and growled softly.

"Now Harley, you know Daddy has lots of work to do to kill ol' Batsy. Especially now that those little wanna-be ingrates of his are acting on their own accord."

"Can't you work on that tomorrow? You're SUPPOSED to be all mine tonight." Her heart skipped a beat as she heard him growl under his breath. He clenched his fist and punched the roof of the car but, even though she could feel her blood boiling with fear, she knew she could wear him down. "Besides," she purred, ignoring his outburst and leaning into his ear, "Don't ya think I should reward ya for saving my ass back there?" His tension vanished almost immediately and he looked to her out of the corner of his eye, a different fire now behind his steel grey iris. He took a sharp turn and changed direction away from their penthouse and towards one of their old hideouts across town.

"Whatever my baby wants."

"Bruce? It's me," Dick Greyson spoke into his cell phone as he paced his one bedroom flat in a towel, fresh from a shower.

"Dick? You sound flustered."

"Yeah. I think you might have lost something, specifically two clowns."

"The Joker and Harley? In Bludhaven? Doing what?"

"They were over at the docks roughing up some no name gang over some shipping containers. But the containers…Bruce they were all marked 'Toxic.' They're up to something."

"I knew it," Bruce sighed in frustration. "The Joker and Harley Quinn recently married. Legally."

"Woah. Took him long enough. What's his motive?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Thanks for the info, Dick." He unceremoniously hung up the phone.

The Joker pulled the car to a stop and threw it into park before killing the engine. Harley quickly exited the passenger side and looked around, her smile growing brighter and brighter as she spun around and took in their surroundings. He'd taken her to the run-down amusement park that had been their first home and hideout together.

"Oh Mistah J, this is so nostalgic! Perfect for a date night!" she squeaked. She ran up to him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you. I know you wanna work on ya big plans tonight, but…I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks…" she kissed his lips and lingered there, her lips still brushing his as she whispered, "I miss you, Mistah J." She was rewarded with a grin and J scooped her up again, carrying her inside the staff room where their old bedroom used to be.

It was dark, with nothing but a mattress on the floor, some pillows and blankets, and some candles, but that was all they needed tonight. J plopped her onto the bed and made quick work of lighting the candles around the room before shedding his tuxedo jacket, tie, and undershirt.

Harley sat on the bed and took her top off, her breasts bouncing out, earning her a deep growl from Joker's throat.

"Did you leave the fishnets on?" He asked, sitting next to her on the bed now

"Of course I did, Puddin!" She replied, standing up and making quick work of her boots and pants to show him. She stood before him now in nothing except the fishnets and her red lacy thong beneath them and he licked his lips as he looked her over, the bulge in his pants now more obvious than ever.

Harley looked him over and purred, "Let me help you with that, Mistah J."

She threw a pillow onto the floor between his legs and dropped to her knees before him, pulling at his pants button and sliding his zipper down. He helped her shimmy his pants over his hips but before he could even pull them around his ankles her mouth wrapped around the tip of his member and he groaned aloud. His hand went to the back of her head as his cock throbbed in her mouth. She worked her mouth around what she could of his girth, using her hand to stroke what wouldn't fit. He bit his lip and tipped his head back and she opened her eyes briefly, daring to glance up at him. A giggle tickled in her throat, causing her mouth to vibrate around him and earning her another groan from the Clown Prince.

Suddenly she was gone and he contemplated shooting her right then and there for her neglect, but all was soon forgiven when she returned to straddle him, hiding something behind her back.

"What have you got there," he asked her, his tone gravely and somewhat impatient. Her only saving grace was the feel of her fishnets rubbing over his member where her mouth had left him.

"Lay back," she giggled, biting her lip mischievously, then added a "Please?" when her request was met with steely eyes.

He slowly laid back and closed his eyes, sighing heavily with his impatience. He felt something hot hit his chest and his eyes flew back open as a hiss escaped from between his silver teeth. His back arched, causing his member to rub up against Harley's fishnet adorned warmed again. He heard her giggle somewhere in the back of his brain but mostly he could just hear the blood rushing away from his ears and down south.

"Harleen," he growled in a warning to her, "Are you teasing me, you little minx?"

"Maybe I am," she replied. "And that's HARLEY to you, Mistah J."

"Ohhhh ho ho?" he laughed at her boldness. He would have to fix her right now. He reached up and gripped her hair, tossing her aside, the unlit candle crashing to the floor and breaking. Her heart stopped for a split second and she feared for her life before registering that he'd tossed her onto the bed and not the floor. Okay, so he was playing their little game with her.

Relief flushed over her momentarily but only for a split second before his form covered her. His hand gripped her fishnets and tore them away from her skin and his teeth grazed her collarbone, earning him a groan from her lips. She raised her hips to accept him but he merely tickled her clit with his head, taunting her as she had done to him. She heard his knife's blade flick out as he cut her thong off at her hip and tossed that aside as well, following the sound of the knife clattering to the floor next to the bed.

"Okay Mistah J, this ain't funny no more," she whined. Her legs moved to wrap around his waist but he caught her thighs and rubbed their insides as his mouth caught her breast, letting his teeth gently graze the nipple. She gasped and shuddered but he didn't let up as he let his nips and kisses graze over her stomach, careful to plant only gentle kisses where the bruise across her ribs was forming from her fight with Nightwing. His lips touched her inner thigh, his teeth grazing her flesh there too, earning him a frustrated hiss from his Queen.

She was nearly whimpering when his tongue finally ran over her folds, which were already plenty moist without any further assistance from him.

He moved to hover over her again and kissed her passionately before growling, "You want this?" letting his member slide over her entrance again.

She nodded and whispered, "I do."

Far be it from him to not give the girl what she wanted after all. He slowly slid into her, feeling her walls adjusting to his size, earning him a sharp cry from her lips. She rejoiced as he finally let go of her legs and let her wrap them around his waist and he began thrusting into her, his hands planted on the wall behind her head for leverage. As she matched his rhythm with her own hips, she reached up and grabbed his wrists to steady herself before picking up her hips and now moving her legs up onto his shoulders, her ankles crossed behind his head.

The new angle earned her a groan from The Joker and he laced his fingers with hers, her nails digging into the back of his hands. She cried out in ecstasy and he felt her walls clenching around him; neither of them was going to last long this time around.

He heard a loud "FUCK" echo around the room and vaguely recognized his own voice over her own shrill cry of pleasure as they came together.

They lay on the bed in a panting heap of sweaty limbs for a moment before it dawned on him that her legs were still stuck beneath him. He pulled out of her carefully, feeling that her walls were still twitching around him, and rolled over to lay beside her.

Once she'd caught her breath, Harley rolled over to nestle into his chest and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, running his fingers over her arm and kissing her forehead.

"I love you, puddin," she whispered to him as she traced a scar across his chest.

"Love you too, puu," he replied. After moment of silent bliss, Harley sat up and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I need a shower…I'm disgusting." The Joker cackled in response.

"Sweetie, there hasn't been any power or running water in this place for…ages…However, there is a motel up the road if you'd like to freshen up and come back."

"So what we just, break into someone's room, kill them, and take over their bathroom?" she looked to him. He sat up and nodded with an "mhm" before picking up his car keys and jangling them. A mischievous grin crossed her lips.

"All right, let's do it!"

 **A/N: Side note – I'm thinking of changing the title of this since it doesn't fit anymore and I just kind of named it something based on Chapter 1. Suggestions are welcome!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 **A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I've updated; I've written and rewritten this chapter a few times to try and get things right. I hope you all enjoy!**

The sun had long set in Gotham City and the rogues were out to play as usual. Bruce Wayne found himself grappling from rooftop to rooftop finding everything from drug deals to gang activity, but nothing too exciting; no bank robberies from Two Face or museum break-ins from Penguin.

"It seems to be quite steady this evening, sir. Nothing to write home about," Alfred noted in his ear. It was at that moment the Bat Signal lit up the night sky like a symbol of freedom for Gotham's people, and a sign of a long night for Batman.

"You just _had_ to jinx it, Alfred," he chuckled back to his butler.

"Apologies, Master Wayne."

He met Commissioner Gordon at the usual location on the rooftop of the GCPD.

"Boy, am I glad to see you," Gordon said, his voice was steady but his body language read that he was nervous, his hand shaking as he stole a drag from his cigarette. "There's been a break in over at Thomson's Jewelry store."

"Don't tell me you're _that_ short-handed around here, Jim," Batman quipped, his mask now disguising his voice to make it deeper and more gravely.

"It was The Joker...he left this," Gordon held up a bright purple USB that read "For Bats" in silver sharpie, complete with his signature smiling face on the opposite side.

Batman inserted the USB into his handheld Bat Computer and the holographic screen popped up, showing a screenshot of The Joker's face in a close-up freeze frame – laughing. Batman and Gordon exchanged a glance.

Begrudgingly, Batman hit the 'play' button and held his breath for whatever The Joker was up to tonight.

"Greetings, Bat Brain!" The Joker chimed, looking into the camera. "As you may have heard, my dear Harley and I have finally tied the knot!"

"Hiya B-man!" Harley's voice came from the back. The Joker pulled her into his lap so they could both be seen and Harley wrapped her arms around his neck. They both wore their classic attire: The Joker in his purple suit with green pinstripes and an orange button up shirt, paired with a green tie; Harley wore her classic black and red jester costume, along with her black mask and lipstick.

"We've decided to throw a little party for everyone in Gotham to celebrate our love! You'll find my party favors hidden all throughout the city!"

The screen switched to a map of Gotham with large red "x's" drawn over landmarks in the city and Harley's laughter could be heard in the background as she could hardly contain herself.

"Tick-tock Bat Guano! Before the whole city loses their minds!" The video went to a green screen with the Joker's face comically painted in purple over it.

"I'd really hoped this would be over, Batman. When you told me Joker had married Harley, I thought it meant he would finally put all this to an end," Gordon said in a heavy tone.

"He'll never stop Jim. Not until one of us is dead…send the bomb squad out for the gas bombs. I'm going after The Joker." Batman tossed the USB to Gordon so he could have the map before running off the side of the roof and gliding into the waiting BatMobile on the road beneath them.

"Where do you think The Joker's broadcasting from, sir?" Alfred asked over the Bluetooth speaker of the car.

"Where it all began. Thompson's Jewelry is just one block from Ace Chemicals. That's where he turned Harleen into Harley. And where I mistakenly turned him into…him."

"I'm patching the blueprints of the building through to your suit, sir."

"Thanks Alfred."

"Good luck, Bruce."

The Joker paced back and forth in the office of Ace Chemicals as Harley admired her new rings and necklaces in the reflection of the glass windows.

"Will you be ready when he gets here!?" Joker snapped at her in annoyance.

"Right-a-rooni, Mistah J!" Harley replied. She pouted a little, but began to shed the many pieces of jewelry adorning her just as the pair heard gunfire from their first line of snipers begin.

"All right, kiddo! Showtime!" The Joker cackled. Harley squeaked with excitement and was about to run downstairs to take her position when J caught her wrist in his hand. She stopped and turned to face him and found a soft and serious Joker staring back at her; a face only she saw, and even then she could probably count the occasions on one hand.

"Mistah J?"

"I love you, Harls." Her heart fluttered as he told her those words and she wrapped her arms around him.

"I love you, too, puddin'."

"You remember where we make our exit, right?"

"Yessir!" They kissed for what felt like an eternity before a closer set of gunfire started. They reluctantly separated and took a long look at one another before Harley ran off downstairs. They always made a point to kiss just as the danger started, but this time felt much different. The Joker knew that this night would change their lives forever one way or another; The Bat needed to die, once and for all, so he could finally be at peace with his wife.

Harley skipped down into the main room of the chemical plant and made a point to check the time on her phone. She had exactly ten minutes; she repeated the plan in her head once more - envisioning the Bat's final demise in her head brought a giggle to her lips, but her daydream was interrupted but the shadow of a winged figure gliding over the floor. He landed before her like a six foot creeper, as though he were silently giving her one last chance to surrender – a snow's chance in hell for the Clown Queen.

Harley picked up her mallet and gave it a skillful twirl before taking off at a run towards Batman. A cry ripped from her lips as she charged him. He turned and caught her mallet in mid-air, but she used her momentum to jump up and kick him in the gut at full force, earning her an 'oof!' as he sailed backwards.

"Ha! You can thank your old Boy Blunder for that move!" she scoffed, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out at him. Batman grumbled and got to his feet.

"Where is he, Quinn?" he growled through his voice changer.

"Probably in Bludhaven? Don't you keep track of that?" she quipped, playing dumb.

"The Joker, Harleen! Where is he!?"

"Oh! My puddin?" she stuck her tongue out at him. "Nice try, B-man, but I ain't squealin'!"

"Why do you protect him? You're just a pawn in his game. He'll just leave once I get too close, and let you take the fall again. Do you really want to go back to Belle Reve?"

Harley shook her head, growling under her breath, as if trying to shake the Bat's words out of her ears.

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT! UP!" she rushed towards him in her fury, fists flying, but Batman caught her wrists and looked her in the eyes.

"Come on, Dr. Quinzel! I know you're in there! Let me get you the help you need!" Harley laughed.

"Even if she _was_ still in here, Bats, even _she_ doesn't wanna talk to ya!" she spat up into his face before flipping over him to break his hold on her, promptly kicking him in the back of the head before landing into a back handspring. Just as Batman turned to charge at her, the sound of wood on bone echoed through the chemical plant and Batman fell to the floor. The Joker stood behind him, his tie undone and his shirt unbuttoned, wielding Harley's mallet. He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair as he smiled to Harley.

"Honey I'm home!" he said breathily as he stepped over Batman's unconscious form. "And boy am I just in time – it seems we have a real pest problem." She threw her arms around him, kissing him deeply.

"My hero!" she giggled, taking the mallet back from him. She looked down to Batman, then back to The Joker. "Can we do it on his cape before he wakes up?" The Joker laughed at petted her head.

"As much as I love your wicked brain, my love, I don't think we'll have time." He handed her the handcuffs in his pocket and she pouted before taking them from him and working on The Bat.

Batman awoke and groaned as his head throbbed angrily; his vision was blurry at first but as the scene around him focused he remembered where he was. He was surprised to feel his cowl still sitting on his head, but not surprised to see his feet dangling over a bubbling vat of chemicals. His hands were cuffed behind him, and a rope was tightly wrapped around his chest to suspend him from a crane.

"Oh goody! Puddin'! The Bats' done with his nap!" Harley's voice chimed. He looked up to the catwalk next to him to see Harley and the Joker, grinning like cats who had finally captured their canary.

"Good morning, sleepy head!" The Joker cackled. "Listen, it's been fun! It's been real! Heck, I'd even venture to say it's been real fun! But I've decided to finally end this game of cat and mouse we've been playing!" His hand moved to the lever of the crane.

"Why, Joker? Why now?" Batman asked. He knew he could get the clown talking and buy himself some time.

"Well Bats, I've finally decided to settle down with my wife. Maybe raise a hyena or two. But first, I needed my old flame out of the way before we could live our happily after ever."

"But why not reveal my identity? After all these years, we still don't know who the other really is."

"Oh Batsy, for a detective you sure don't have a lot of answers. You could be Joe Shmoe, you could be the pope, you could be billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne for all I care! It really doesn't matter to me who's under that cloak and cowl get up you run around town in. Because deep down inside, I _know_ who you really are. You're a lost little boy running around town dressed as the hero who never came for him. And the best part is – you're just as certifiable as the rest of us! The pigs running the GCPD are just using you to do their job for them! But I'll tell you one thing Batsy – I'm doing you a favor. The second I leave this town, that is when the _real_ chaos will start. The law and order in the underground will go to _shit_. And you'll be long gone! It's the best joke of all time! Kill the Bat. Leave Gotham. And watch this city implode from the inside – out. All from the safety of some unnamed tropical island sipping on fruity cocktails with my wife. Happily ever after for good ol' Joker and his Harlequin Queen!"

While The Joker was busy monologuing, Batman had been slowly working on his restraints.

"Not today, Joker. Not on my watch." The Batman sprang into action and tackled the Joker to the floor below them.

"Stupid Bat!" Harley screeched as she started firing careless rounds from her pistol in their direction. A few of the bullets grazed Batman as he and The Joker brawled below her, but one of them bounced off a metal vat of chemicals, sending it rocketing into a different section of chemicals behind glass. The glass shattered and a pipe full of bright pink chemicals spilled into the milky green ones kept in the vats below. A siren alarmed and the chemical plant began to shake as the chemical reaction started to bubble and smoke.

"Um…guys!?" Harley called down to them.

"Joker! This whole place is about to blow!" Batman called to the Joker. J's eyes had a familiar maniacal glint to them as he began to cackle with hysterics.

"Well then it looks like we're going down together, Bat!" The Joker began throwing his infamous playing card knives at him, aiming for his cloak. "It will be poetic justice! You and me in a blaze of glory!"

With no time to spare, Batman ran to avoid The Joker's cards and pulled out his grappling gun. He grappled up to the catwalk where Harley stood watching them, looking from the two of them, to the door where she could make her escape. She didn't want to leave her puddin' behind, but every instinct in her was telling her to self-preserve and run for it.

Wrapping his arm around Harley's waist as he flew passed her, Batman quickly cannonballed out of the nearest window as Ace Chemicals went up in flame in a gaseous, hot explosion.

"NO!" Harley screeched, kicking and punching at Batman as he glided the two of them to safety. "Why would you save me?! You should have saved him!"

Batman landed on the street below where the GCPD and Commissioner Gordon waited for them. He put Harley down and braced himself for the fists that were to follow, but instead she collapsed to her knees in front of him. Her shoulders shook with sobs as she ripped off her cowl and mask and threw them at him.

"You bastard! It should have been you! You were supposed to die today! We were finally going to be happy!"

"Harley, The Joker was a monster. He would have never-,"

"YOU'RE THE MONSTER!" she screamed. "It's you! It's always been you! Stopping our fun, throwing us into the madhouse, making us who we are! When all this time we just wanted to be together!" It may not be the truth, but it was what she truly believed in heart of hearts.

Batman looked to Gordon, then over to his right where Amanda Waller stood with her chopper still running behind her, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"I think you've found something that belongs to the U.S. Government and myself," Waller said as she approached. Batman looked to Harley and he actually felt bad for her. The Joker may have been a sociopathic, homicidal maniac. But, as crazy as it made her, Harleen was still in there somewhere, and she'd loved him. And now that she'd lost him for good, she was going to be forced back to Belle Reve to work for Waller. Unless…

"Gordon," Batman said, his voice softer than normal.

"Batman?"

"What are the laws regarding criminals that lose a spouse?"

"Well, generally we treat them for their mental anguish first, then re-evaluate them later on in therapy to see if they need to be moved into prison or if they've been rehabilitated."

"No…" Waller shook her head, glaring Batman down. "You wouldn't dare."

"Get her out of here, Jim," Batman said solemnly. The guilt was beginning to creep in that he'd let someone die today, even if it was The Joker. The least he could do was get Harley the care she needed and not let her back into Waller's clutches before she needed to be there.

"I'll be in touch," Waller spat through gritted teeth. She turned on her heel and tromped back to her waiting chopper.

Gordon kneeled next to Harley and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

"Miss Quinn?" he asked her softly.

"It's Mrs. J!" Harley hiccupped through her tears, looking to him with bright blue eyes as her white grease make-up rolled down her cheeks with her tears.

"Of course…" he gingerly helped her up to her feet and steered her towards his police cruiser. "Let's get you back to Arkham."

The word alone stopped Harley in her tracks. Her eyes widened. Flashes of memories of her days as Mr. J's therapist spun passed her vision. The car door slammed shut beside her, snapping her out of daze. She shook her head and looked around the police cruiser for a moment as reality smacked her again.

They were sending her back to Arkham. Back where it had all began. Her laughter bubbled over and filled the car with an eerie sense of things to come. She would get her revenge on The Bat for taking her love away from her.

But first, she would have to let Harleen come out to play for her for a while.

End

 **A/N** : **A sequel is already in the making! Thank you guys so much for reading!**


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